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The Heat - Sex ArticlesThe Heat - Sex Articles

The Importance of Being Relaxed and Prepared When Using an Anal Toy

By Jasmine McCloud 6 months ago. Posted in Sex Toy Guides
The Importance of Being Relaxed and Prepared When Using an Anal Toy

2019 is a wonderful time. Brooklyn Nine-Nine got renewed for another season, Olivia Colman won an Oscar, and the taboos around ass play a falling away more and more each day! Anal stimulation and prostate stimulators have been tickling the prostates of those lucky enough to have discovered their P-spots (AKA the prostate or male G-spot) for thousands of years. Look at any Greek vase and you’ll see countless figures ‘knocking at the back door’. The P-spot is a highly erogenous zone located between the bladder and penis, just in front of the rectum. It can be stimulated via the rectum, and can also lead to stronger and more intense orgasms. Now, while anal play can be extremely pleasurable, it is important to take the necessary precautions to avoid things going downhill fast.

First Thing to Remember

Relax! The anus is comprised of two sphincters, these are rings of muscle that can relax and contract, and function as the ‘entrance’ to the rectum. When engaging in anal play it is important to be able to relax these sphincter muscles to allow a smooth entrance into the rectum. Stress and anxiety can cause these muscles to tighten involuntarily and may cause frustration when trying to use a prostate massager or similar toy. Deep breathing, and adequate foreplay can help with the relaxation of all muscles, and mindful practice of relaxing the anus will make any anal sex or use of sex toys a lot more pleasurable. Using excessive force when trying to insert something into the anus can cause injury and lasting discomfort. So, make sure you’re in a comfortable space where you feel safe, can relax, and go at your own pace.



The skin of the anus is delicate and sensitive, comparable to the skin of your lips. As such, it is important to care for and maintain this skin, especially when engaging in anal play! It is essential to use lube when using anal sex toys or engaging in anal sex. Friction and dryness can cause anal irritation and sometimes tears. These tend to halt any sexual adventuring and can often hurt a lot!


As mentioned previously, lubrication is essential for a successful adventure into ass play. Unlike the vagina, the rectum does not produce its own lubrication to aid in the process of P-spot stimulation. Lube is here to remedy this and make sure your endeavours continue smoothly. Water-based lube is a safe go-to when it comes to lubrication. It’s easy to apply and is compatible with any sex toy you may like to use. Water-based lube is also safe to use with condoms, making it ideal for anal sex.

Silicone-based lube is another option worth considering. The main difference between these two options of lube is their longevity once applied. Silicone-based lube takes more time to be absorbed into the skin, giving it a longer-lasting effect. Silicone-based lube is also suitable for shower-play as it will not be instantly washed away by water. If you’re using a metal or glass toy, you can pair them with a silicone lube of your choosing! Avoid silicone lubes if you are using a silicone toy or condoms, as there a risk of degradation, rendering the sex toy unsafe and the condom ineffective. Read more about silicone lubricant here with this article from The Heat.

Body Safety

When it comes to sex toys, body safety is key! Silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass are three of the most popular body-safe materials when it comes to manufacturing sex toys. All three of these materials are non-porous. This means they have no nooks and crannies where they can harbour any potentially harmful germs. The lack of ‘pores’ also makes the toy easier to clean, which is always a bonus!

Another aspect of body safety to consider is the necessity of a flared base! The rectum does not have a natural end, (like how the cervix prevents things from entering the uterus) this means the possibility of losing things up there is very real. We’ve all heard horror stories of people having to rush to the hospital for an ‘intimate extraction’ because they just so happened to fall on something … while cleaning their room … naked. There’s an easy way around this, flared bases! A flared base functions as a sort of ‘handle’ that prevents a toy from being ‘sucked’ into the rectum where it may require medical intervention to retrieve.


For example, a dildo with balls or a suction-cup base would be suitable for ass play. Anal beads often come with a ‘pull ring’ designed to make retrieval of the toy quick and easy. Butt plugs tend to have an inbuilt ‘handle’ that nestles close to the anus. This means you can enjoy the maximum length of the toy, or even wear it under your clothes, without fear of losing it ‘up there’.

Too Many to Choose From?

The world of anal sex toys can be overwhelming, there’s a lot out there! A safe place to start is with a small butt plug. These are perfect for beginners as they aren’t too big or intimidating, and they don’t require huge amounts of preparation to use. Butt plugs can also be used ‘hands-free’ which makes them perfect for heightened stimulation when engaging with a sexual partner. Adulttoymegastore stocks a huge range of butt plugs suitable for beginners all the way up to the most experienced anal players. Browse the range of butt plugs here.


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