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How to give her the best oral sex of her life

By Emily 4 years ago. Posted in Sex Tips
How to give her the best oral sex of her life

You may have heard of the orgasm gap between genders but have you heard of the cunnilingus gap? While blow jobs are a go-to for many, far too many women are missing out on great oral sex. And there’s simply no excuse for it.

If your girl is giving you BJs you need to return the favor. And you need to do it well! But don’t feel daunted. I'm as gay as the day is long so I feel qualified to give you some advice. With a little practice you can master this wonderful sex act.

Oral sex on women is often considered really difficult to do well. But that’s just not true. You just need to listen to her body language.

Start by ensuring she’s comfortable

Your partner may not feel comfortable receiving oral sex. The vagina, despite its wonder and beauty, is often maligned in popular culture. These messages are often internalized – women worry about the smell of their vagina, the taste, and they sometimes believe the untrue messages out there about vulvas and labia being unattractive.

To set her at ease, make sure she knows how much you want to do this. Make sure she’s really, really aroused before you start. Try using toys first – something like a lay-on massager to get her ready. Here are some of my favourite lay-ons.

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Just don’t even bother if you plan on going in and coming back out after 30 seconds. A lackluster job is just not worth it. Tell her it gets you off too, tell her how much you love it. Enjoy yourself and make sure she knows you’re enjoying it.

Take your time, and don’t rush – don’t make her feel like you can’t wait to finish. Most women average at about 20 minutes for an orgasm so you’re going to need to be down there making the most of it so be ready. Importantly – you need to be comfortable because you’ll be there for a while. A good position is on your knees at the end of the bed with your whole face in her vulva, you can rest your head on her legs but you need to be in there.

Don’t neglect the clitoris

The clitoris is sensitive and few women orgasm without clitoral stimulation. So, you need to work on her clitoris. Warm up her clitoris with a flat tongue. You need to get it wet and ready for action. Put pressure on her clitoris with your flat tongue licking slowly. Be methodical and rhythmic but don’t suck on her clitoris (unless she asks) or slop around in there. Do not be rough – be slow and choose an approach and stick to it. Spread her labia to make sure you’re working on the right area.

You can use a labia spreader but make sure she's OK with this! Some women don't like them.

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Here's a list of the five best-selling lay-ons.

You’ll know she’s enjoying it if she starts rocking, thrusting, or pressing onto you. If she’s doing that – do not under any circumstances change what you are doing. Remember, the clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings, so don’t be rough. Be very gentle.

Don’t skip the vulva

But for the love of all that is holy don’t use your fingers like a penis. Press your fingers upwards and firm onto her G-spot, while doing this continue to use a flat tongue on her clitoris and the space above her clitoris.

Curl your fingers inside her as if you’re saying “come here”. You can also try some new positions to give yourself more access to her body, you don’t have to just lie between her legs. On all fours is a great position that allows you to focus on her butt as well. The key with positions is that she should be able to push into you, and you should be comfortable and able to reach her clitoris.

And consent is crucial – find out what she likes before just doing it. Some folks are not into ass-play at all, so be respectful and understand what your partner is OK with. Consider a flavored lubricant to help her along.

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Listen and learn

Follow her body language. If it feels like she’s steering you with her hips – follow where she wants you to go. If she seems to be really loving something – keep doing that and don’t stop. If she pulls your hair away from her clitoris, the pressure might be too much. Listen and learn from what she likes and doesn’t like. Allow yourself to be led by her body and what she is saying – “more” or “there” is pretty clear! Remember: Every body is different and she might not like what your ex-girlfriend liked so stop right away if she doesn’t seem into it.

Be safe

Finally, be safe. Remember that bacteria can be transmitted through oral sex. Bacteria in the anus is nasty and can wreak havoc if being placed in other areas so never go ass to mouth or ass to vulva. To ensure sexual health, be sure to practice proper hygiene. Use an internal condom if you don’t know your partner’s sexual history.

Emily
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