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How to Get Started With Bondage Play - Tips for Beginners

By Kacey Willers one year ago. Posted in Sex Tips
How to Get Started With Bondage Play

Introducing Bondage Play for Beginners

A lot of the time, our fantasies lie outside of the boundaries of what we believe we should feel, and many people feel like they want to experience rougher, more intense, and more adventurous sex. If people want change, bondage play can be a great choice for people looking to open their horizons sexually.

Bondage also known as BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) has begun gaining popularity amongst couples since Fifty Shades of Grey topped the book charts in 2011 as it encouraged BDSM to become openly discussed, helping to get rid of that once social stigma.

Although it's growing in popularity, knowing where to start when experimenting with BDSM can be an absolute minefield! You want to make sure you don't go in too deep too quick and instead start off with less intimidating options.

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bondage for beginners

Here are our best bondage play tips for beginners to help get you started:

Heighten your senses

Sensory play is a good place to begin when you first begin experimenting with BDSM, as blindfolds are generally less intimidating and can also help people shed their inhibitions. Without sight we rely on our other sense much more, such as sounds and physical contact. These senses also become much more enhanced making each whisper and touch that much more satisfying!

A blindfold can increase sexual tension and arousal through the buildup of anticipation as you try to interpret what your partner is going to do next. Take turns blindfolding one another and treating each other to a variety of different sensations. Lick, tickle, suck, squeeze, and kiss each other in different places so that they will never know what is coming next. You will be amazed at how aroused you both become!

Take Control

Many people love the idea of being tied up and being under complete control of their partner. In fact, for many men and women this is one of their biggest sexual fantasies. If you are new to restraints, then it's a good idea to start out at the tamer end of the spectrum. So for now it's best to avoid ropes or metal handcuffs and stick to silk ties, scarfs or fabric restraints with velcro.

If it is your first time, tie their forearms together rather than tying them down to the bed. They will find this a lot more comfortable both physically and mentally as if they do feel uncomfortable or begin to panic they can easily escape if they felt they really needed to.

Tickle your fancy

If the thought of spankers and whips frighten you then we recommend you start with a feather tickler first! Let's be honest, your partner is much more likely to enjoy being tantalized by a feather rather than being whipped repeatedly. Holding onto the stem, allow the soft tip of the tickler to gently caress your lovers skin all over. They'll experience head-to-toe tingles and be left with extra sensitive skin for subsequent play.

It's best when you experiment with different types of contact. Use a combination of barely-there touches and prolonged strokes, while paying attention to where they like it most. Of course if you do prefer to use spankers and whips remember that BDSM is a form of punishment that is meant to be pleasurable for both of you, so don't spank your lover too hard and make sure to pause between each spanking!

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Power Play

There is something truly sultry and exciting about power play. To some degree these roles probably already exists but power play encourages you to take it up a few extra notches! Whether you prefer to be the dominant or submissive, there are no guidelines on the right way to take part in this kind of play.

A submissive doesn't have to be a sex slave or completely submit themselves in all situations, just like the dominant doesn't always have to be the one to make all the decisions. It's up to you how you like it but mixing it up can be just as satisfying as changing roles can really spice up the relationship!

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Communicate

With any kind of bondage play, communication is key. With such a high level of communication required, this may be why a lot of couples find BDSM more intimate then regular sex. Especially when restrained, you are completely at someone's mercy, so it is vital that you absolutely trust them.

Couples often employ a safe word in order to let their partner know when things get a little too uncomfortable. There is also the option of discussing beforehand both soft and hard limits so your partner knows what to do and what to stay away from. If you feel like you aren't able to trust your partner or have trouble communicating you will find it difficult to relax and completely enjoy.

A safe word is a code word commonly used in BDSM for a submissive to unambiguously communicate to a dominant that they are approaching or crossing a physical, emotional or moral boundary. These words tend to be irrelevant and strange in the context of a sexual situation as words like 'stop' or 'please' are too common within a role-play context. Safe words in BDSM fall under the guiding philosophy of safe, sane and consensual. In some cases, the choice to give up the use of safe words is a consensual act on the part of the submissive.

Are you ready to try bondage play?

Browse our wide range of bondage accessories with your partner to mutually decide what toys you both feel comfortable using. Remember you both want to enjoy yourselves!

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Bondage tips for beginners

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