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Shopping online for sex toys as a trans guy

Shopping online for sex toys as a trans guy

Anybody who knows me will agree that I'm very open about my sexual experiences and preferences. I feel that sex and sexual expression is something that shouldn't be shunned or hidden away as some kind of forbidden doing. Sexuality and sexual preference is summed up under a massive umbrella shared by us all, and as long as the experience contains all consenting partners, it should be something that is enjoyed and celebrated.

Whether it’s self-pleasure or a partnered or grouped experience, sex toys can be a great addition to your sexual routines.

As a Trans-man, navigating around an online sex store always seemed incredibly daunting; never knowing where to look or even what to be looking for. There was always a feeling of apprehension when reading through each description of the toys that seemed to peak my interest.

For many Trans-people, the relationship with our genitals tends to come with a double dosage of dysphoria. There’s generally a sense of anxiety around sex, and even self-pleasure.

For me personally, scrolling through the assorted range of sex toys, being reminded that I don’t have a penis and am unable to use certain ‘male toys’, left me feeling slightly disheartened.

Now being further into my transition, I'm glad to say that I have a much healthier relationship with my junk. Although not having the genitals I oh so desire, as humans we all have genitals unique to us. Regardless of sex or anatomy, our genitals are our genitals and they have the ability to make us feel really good.

When shopping for sex toys, I tend to broaden the search. I know that Trans individuals can find it difficult with the separate categories of ‘Male’ and ‘Female’ toys. What I find helps is to not view the toys as ‘hers’ and ‘his’, but instead as a singular toy that may or may not make me or a partner feel good.

There’s a huge range of versatile sex toys that can be used in multiple situations and in countless different ways. You just need to be able to open your mind and use your imagination, whether that be with a partner or by yourself.

Broadening the search to everything on the website may seem quite overwhelming, but removing the titles of ‘Male’ and ‘Female’ from each toy helps to get rid of the intrusive gender dysphoria.

There are so many toys that can be beneficial for anyone, regardless of genitals. One of my personal favourite all inclusive toys are body wands. It doesn't matter what you've got in your pants, this beasty boy can make you feel incredible and produce some pretty note-worthy orgasms. It also doubles up as a good full body massager, the perfect thing to get you and your partner in the mood.

I understand that many Trans guys do have a complete disconnect from their genitals, which can prove shopping for sex toys quite the difficult task. Not knowing where to start and aimlessly jumping from category to category. If you’re currently struggling with either what to buy, or where to look, here are a few quick tips to keep in mind on your exploration:

__The recommendation of others: __

If you genuinely don’t know where to start, asking the community can be a great insight into the wonderful world of Trans friendly sex toys. Whether that be through Trans friends, an LGBTQ+ forum, or even reviews online. We now live in a world where there is so much readily available information at our fingertips. I say take advantage of it, and get to reading!

Start small and simple:

The almost endless selection of toys for sale online can seem extremely daunting when presented in one lump-sum, especially when some of them look like other worldly probe devices. When in doubt, sometimes the simplest sex toys can be the best option. I for one have an unhealthy obsession with bullets. Everything about them is so convenient. The size, the discreet design, and the variety of settings they possess.

Lube is also a great addition to your top draw collection of fun. If you’re on testosterone, a side effect of the highly potent hormone is a decreased production of lubricant in your nether regions. A good lube to use for your pleasure sessions, can not only decrease any uncomfortable friction, but is also a sure way to keep things running smoothly.

Chat with your partner:

Like I always say, communication is so important. If you’re stuck on what to buy for the bedroom, ask your partner. Not only is there a vast collection of toys for couples, but your partner may already have an idea on what’s going to help you get off the best.

__What makes you feel good? __

Before jumping online to hunt around for a new toy, think about what makes you feel good without the presence of any toys. Do you prefect internal or external stimulation? Are you wanting a multipurpose toy that can be used with a partner? Is there anything new you’ve been wanting to try? Once you narrow down the results of what you could potentially be looking for, things become a lot easier.

An important thing to remember is regardless of how or where a sex toy is categorised, they are for everyone to enjoy.__ There are no rules or regulations when it comes to experimenting with toys, as long as everyone involved is consenting and happy. __

Listen to your body, and do what feels right to you. Take your time, and open your mind to trying new things. There’s a whole world of toys just waiting to be played with!

Other articles of interest:

Jed Biggs, Sex-positive Trans-Masc Writer & Sex Toy Reviewer
The Heat Sex ArticlesThe Heat Sex Articles
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6th December 2023
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