Did you ever watch that episode of Misfits where Curtis and Alisha wanted to get down and dirty but couldn’t because if anyone touches Alisha they get so overwhelmed with sexual desire that they can’t control themselves so they end up jerking it together in s storage room? Yeah, well I did, and mutual masturbation has been an intriguing topic ever since.

Why people masturbate mutually

Okay, but … why? Surely if you’re sitting there with someone you clearly fancy, clothes off, bits out, sexual tension practically pouring off of the both of you, you’d want to jump each other immediately. Well, maybe you’re waiting until marriage, but you still want to share an intimate sexual experience with your partner. You could be in a long-distance relationship and wanting to engage in some sexy online debauchery with each other. Maybe you want to explore the world of outercourse a bit more. Or maybe you and your fellow community service delinquents got struck by lightning in a weird storm which left you with strange superpowers and you can’t grab up on the bloke you fancy because you want your connection to be rea and pure! Okay, I promise that’s the last Misfits reference.

Regardless, mutual masturbation is a totally valid way to get intimate with your partner. Masturbating in front of someone can be an extremely vulnerable act and might even bring you closer as a couple.

Don’t jump the gun

The time has to be right for a successful sesh when it comes to getting off in front of each other. Like I said before, masturbating is an extremely personal act and doing it in front of someone can be intimidating. Talk with your partner and make sure the both of you are on the same page before mutually masturbating. When it works, it works amazing and can bring you oh so much closer. Who knows, once you start you might find you have a taste for exhibition (being watched) or voyeurism (watching).

Learn what your partner likes

A bonus of watching someone masturbate is that you get to see what they like and exactly how they like to get themselves off. I mean, who is better at telling you how to make someone cum when that someone is them? Pay close attention to how your partner moves. Are they going fast or slow? Hard or soft? Do they build up slowly and edge themselves until they can’t take it anymore? Learning how your partner likes to please themselves will only improve your sex life and who doesn’t want that?

Explore your dominant side

If you’re into exploring while in the bedroom, try telling your partner exactly how you want them to masturbate. Tell them where to put their hands, how to touch themselves, how fast to go. This may also take some pressure off of your partner if they are nervous about masturbating in front of you. Lots of people love a bit of kinky roleplay and you might be one of them! This can be an especially effective tactic when it comes to having sex over the phone or via video chat seeing as listening to your partner huff and puff down the blower.

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Come together

Another benefit of mutual masturbation is the ability to orgasm together. Bring yourselves to climax at the same time and experience one of the most beautiful things there is to offer in a sexual relationship. Porn could be another useful tool when mutually masturbating. Queue up a film the both of you enjoy and get down to business!

Once you’ve dipped your toes into the world of getting your jollies together you can experiment with more adventurous positions and even roleplay! One of the great things about being open and connected with each other is being comfortable acting out your deepest and wildest fantasies together.