According to Emily Nagoski, the Director of Wellness Education at Smith College in Northampton, society's idea of sex drive is antiquated and should instead be discussed in terms of "spontaneous desire" and "responsive desire".
The term sex drive was originally coined by Sigmund Freud who believed that this drive was genetically part of the species need to survive. However, unlike our other drives, like hunger, the libido can be postponed or transferred without endangering our survival.
Nagoski believes if sex is a drive, then the desire should be spontaneous like hunger. "When you see a sexy person or have a stray sexy thought, it activates an internal craving or urge for sex. That's called spontaneous desire".
This spontaneous desire is associated to what we have normally considered to be sex drive. However, not feeling this is also totally normal. Responsive desire is when our interest only surfaces in response to arousal. According to Nagoski this is more commonly the case for women.
Nagoski proposes that while spontaneous desire is fun, you're not broken if you don't experience it. "Spontaneous desire isn't necessary for sexual pleasure. Is it more important that people crave sex than it is that they enjoy the sex they're having?" she told New Scientist.